You Might Be A Liberal If . . .

It’s funny how Liberals always have this unquenchable desire to spew their hatred of Conservatives and what they stand for. Here on HubPages, it’s no different. And God help that Conservative if they’re also a Christian. People who are conservative tend to be quiet, non-confrontational people. When confronted by the craziness of a Liberal, a Conservative will typically just walk away because arguing with a crazy person is a waste of time. That’s when Liberals go nuts, like sharks who smell blood in the water, wanting more and more. The Liberal thinks he’s won but the truth is he’s revealed his true nature. He appears to be cracking up and in dire need of mental help.

The “talking heads” on TV are a prime example. Watch the Liberal talking head when the conversation turns to Christianity, global warming, or gay rights. They start screaming as if someone pushed a button, releasing all their pent up anger. And we’re suppose to take them seriously after watching them loose their mind on international television?

To my way of thinking, Liberals are confused. They want all the freedom in the world to do what they want, when, where, and with whom they want but also want a nanny government to take care of their every want and need while in the process of taking away all their freedoms. What? Seems to be more than a slight contradiction. Then, when they don’t get all that, they have to blame someone.

“I want to be left alone but I want someone to take of me!!! There’s someone, a person or group, that’s depriving me of that! How dare they!”

At least that’s their perception and the target of their anger are the ones who generally are sitting back, watching these temper tantrums in disbelief, thinking, “My God, they’ve lost their minds. They’re cracking up before our eyes.”

Some of the ones watching are the Conservatives and Christian Conservatives, most of who actually couldn’t give less than a tinker’s damn what Liberals do as long as it doesn’t effect them or their families. Unfortunately, the self-absorbed Liberal, thinking it’s all about him or her, thinks we care and want them to stop. Well, as a Christian Conservative, I’m here to tell you I don’t. As long as you don’t step within my personal space or that of my family, you’re welcome to act just as stupid and childish as you want. We have no doubt you will from how you've acted in the past so we’ll just sit back, watch, and continue to laugh at the silliness and stupidity. As far as I’m personally concerned, if a Liberal wants to do something that’s either going to hurt them or worse, who am I to stop the show? Go for it! Just warn me so I can get something to drink and pull up a chair to watch. Maybe I’ll call 911. Maybe I won’t.

Liberals, I’ve been watching you. I watch FOX, CNN, and, if I haven’t eaten, MSNBC. I listen to talk radio adding in a strong dose of common sense, realizing some of them are over the top with the way they see things. By doing this very unscientific research, I’ve determined that to be a Liberal, there’s several things you must believe in and I’ve come up with some subtitles titled “You Must Be A Liberal If...”

Liberals, please be aware the opinions given in this hub are mine and mine alone so don’t use them as an excuse to go off half cocked on the Conservative or Christian Conservative closest to you. Other Conservatives may have the same opinion of you as I but I’ll let them speak for themselves. Besides, you might end up getting more than you bargained for as more and more people are getting sick and tired of your childish, immature, “in your face” attitude.

If you can handle the truth, keep reading.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Believe In Global Warming.

This is always a great topic to get the Liberals started on a rant. Tell them global warming isn’t real and watch the veins in their necks bulge with fury. Then tell them Al Gore is an idiot and they become just short of homicidal. Stand back. They tend to spit when they get that mad and try to talk.

Al Gore, a senator of mine at one time, retired from politics after a stint as VP and loosing to GWB in 2000. He couldn’t even carry his home state. He then took up the cause of global warming full force. Then it was discovered the scientists “cooked the numbers.”

Oops!!! . . . Damn it!!!!

But that’s okay. At least this wasn’t found out until after Gore amassed an estimated $100 million in net worth from people with less than stellar intellects who bought carbon credits. I hope you like those huge houses he bought with your money in Nashville and California. Oh, wait, I’m sorry, you’ll never see either one but I bet those carbon credits give you a warm, fuzzy feeling. Don’t they?

Is global warming real? I don't believe it is. Don’t tell me one of the causes of global warming is cow flatulence then go jump in your private jet and expect me or anyone else to take you seriously at that point. Should we be good stewards of the planet and recycle where possible? YES, of course!!!

With any luck and a huge dose of good ole common sense, maybe global warming will fade into history like Al Gore is doing.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Think Most Conservatives Care About Obama’s Citizenship.

Was Obama born in America? Who knows. This long into his presidency, does it really matter? Unless we could use the revelation he’s not a citizen to roll back the damage he’s done, does it really matter? I will admit that it would do this old heart good to see Obama and all that knew he wasn’t a citizen ahead of the election doing a “perp walk,” being led out by the FBI in handcuffs, though.

What matters at this point is how good a president is he? From all indications, he would be a great president if this country were the USSR, China, Venezuela, or Cuba. Simply put, Obama hates America, its people, and all she stands for. Given the chance, I firmly believe he would physically stomp on and shred the U.S. Constitution.

Is Obama an American? Maybe by birth. That’s an argument I’ll let others fight. Unfortunately, it’s evident more and more every day President Barack Hussein Obama is NOT an American in his heart or in his way of thinking. He wants to destroy the very country he was elected to lead. Because of that, no, I don’t think he’s an American and it has nothing to do with where his mommy was when she plopped him out.

Being an American brings with it a love of country and our way of life. It that makes you proud to stand and sing the National Anthem. It brings a tear to your eye when you see the reunion of a family and their soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine. It also brings about an almost uncontrollable desire to stomp a mudhole in the ass of anyone who wishes to to take away your Constitutionally guaranteed freedoms.

Is Barrack Hussein Obama an American, someone who loves the country he was elected to lead? Sadly, no, not in the true sense of the word that made this country great.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Hate Guns So Let’s Talk About Those Scary GUNS.

First, let me be up front and say I have a permit to carry a handgun and do so everywhere it’s legal to do so in my state. I don’t believe in gun control unless I’m the one controlling the gun. And, yes, I believe gun control violates the Second Amendment. I’ve written a hub titled “The Second Amendment.” Take a look. I’ve broken it down so simply that maybe even a Liberal will understand it. Mind you, I said maybe . I’ve met very few open-minded Liberals but maybe...

Now, what scares you about guns? And don’t say they kill people. People kill people with guns sometimes but guns don’t kill unless used to either do harm or to protect so save the Liberal talking point answer for someone who doesn’t know any better. Whatever your reason is for disliking guns, what makes you think you have right to stop me or anyone else to protect ourselves or our families?

Are you scared of criminals that carry guns? Yes? Wow, that makes two of us. The difference is people who have a permit to carry legally refuse to allow their familes or themselves to be victims. We won't sit around hoping the police show up in time to save us. We'll defend ourselves as the law says we have a right to do whether Liberals like it or not.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Get Mad Because Christians Believe GOD Created the Heavens and the Earth.

Yes, folks, I’m a Christian and a Baptist. I proclaim BOTH LOUD and CLEAR. Don’t like it? Oh, well!!! Get over it!!! I’m not going to thump my Bible and try to lead you to Christ unless you want to go so there’s no need for you to fear this Christian.

Yes, I believe God created the Heavens and the Earth. Why do I believe this? Because I’ve been saved and have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and choose to believe it. In my Christian faith, I know it to be true. How on earth could that possibly hurt or annoy anyone when I don’t go around cramming it down other people’s throats?

My philosophy is you’re free to worship the way you see fit within the faith you choose. You’re free to not worship at all. IT’S YOUR CHOICE as it is mine. I won’t tell you how to worship so don’t tell me how to.

I’m tired of people coming at me because I’m a Christian and expecting me not to come back at them with everything I have. I’ve turned the other cheek and gotten it slapped as well. Turning the other cheek stops NOW!!!

Also, don’t come at me with a sword to cut my head off when I won’t convert to your faith and you’ll be just fine. You want to pray to Allah? By all means, do so to your hearts content. Just don’t expect the American people to not look at you with the same suspicion and contempt when one of the nut case extremists of your faith kills people in the name of that faith then you do absolutely NOTHING to stop them. Stand up to them if you believe it’s wrong! In other words, police your own faith. If you don’t, you WILL be looked at with the same suspicion and contempt as them. It’s called guilt by association. Look it up.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Don’t Like Terrorists Being Interrogated By Any Means Necessary but Don’t Have a Problem with the Killing of a Baby Through Abortion.

Dude, how warped is this way of thinking? We can’t water board the terrorist that masterminded the attacks of 9/11 to gain additional intel but Liberals don’t have a problem in the world with turning an unborn baby’s brain into scrambled eggs during a live-birth abortion. I guess one must be a Liberal to understand the complete and utter stupidity of this mindset.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Believe Big Government Is Not Only Our Friend but must be our Nanny as well.

Government is not our enemy but it certainly isn’t our friend. It should be small and the people who work for it, especially the elected ones, need to understand they work for us, not the other way around. You keep sticking your nose and laws in our business and we’ll fire your sorry butts in a New York minute and send you home to search for real jobs. I’m almost 50 years old, I already have a mom and dad, and I don’t need a nanny. Stay out of my life, my pockets, and my home.

The American people may not always get it right. The last presidential election is great evidence of that. But, we do know one thing for sure. This President and Congress couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the bottom of the heel. To them I say SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND LISTEN. You’re not kings, queens, dukes, or duchesses. You’re politicians, a lower form of life never to be found on the face of this earth. If you want to stay a politician, you’ll do as we, the American people, tell you to do.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Think We Should Hug a Murderer Rather Use the Death Penalty.

Capital punishment. Hmmm. Lets see. Two 18-YO boys break into a house where a single mother and her two sons live. They kill the mother then they kill their intended victim - the sixteen YO son who just happen to have been nice to one of the older boy’s EX-girlfriend. The younger brother hears what’s going on and runs outside. The two older boys catch and kill him before taking his body back inside. They then set the house on fire up cover up their crime. Should we:

a. Give them hugs because they’re so misunderstood and, lets face it, jealousy IS a strong emotion.

b. Give them 40 years in prison only to have them get paroled in five, free to possibly kill again in a jealous rage.

c. Give them each a shot that makes them slip off to La La Land before we administer a second shot that sends them off to their well deserved second destination - the Long Dirt Nap.

d. Hang their sorry butts in the public square for all to see what happens when you kill someone.

This crime actually happened here in Tennessee. Liberals would say A or B. I would say C rather than D as D might be bad for tourism.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Think All Conservatives and Christians hate Gays.

Listen up, Liberals. I’m first a Christian and, a few steps down the line, a Conservative. I don’t hate anyone. Even Liberals and certainly not Gays. I don't even hate my ex-wife who I have good reason to hate but she isn't worth the time and effort.

I, personally, believe being gay is not a choice for most Gays. It’s the way they were born. They are who they are. Do I understand it? No, but it’s not mine to understand.

You Might Be A Liberal If . . . You Think We Should Welcome All Illegals, Give Them Amnesty, Then Ply Them with All Kinds of Giveaways in the Hope They’ll Vote Democratic.

Liberals. Liberals. Liberals. What part of the word ILLEGAL do you not understand? Yes, we should deport illegals as well as their so called anchor babies. They can come back under four conditions. First and foremost, you must do so LEGALLY. Second, learn English. Third, get a legitimate job where you pay taxes and enroll in their insurance program. Stop sponging off the system. Fourth, for the love of God and all that’s good and holy, learn how to drive with some common sense and stop drinking and driving.

Summary

I've changed my mind. It's not that Liberals are confused. It's that they just don't get it. They don't understand the American way of life and that the American Dream isn't something just handed out by some government official. It's something you have to work hard to obtain and keep. They're lazy and would prefer to take a handout and live on the public dole rather than get a job and earn what they get.

Does this apply to all Liberals? No, just most. To them I say stop complaining about your lot in life and blaming it on someone else. Do something, anything, about it or get out. Or perhaps in words they'll understand - "You're draggin' me down, man! Love it or leave it, dude!"